


A weight off his shoulders

by OhGoshOhJeez



Series: paulkins [4]
Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, Making Out, Mild Sexual Content, supportive Emma, trans! Paul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:35:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22851859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhGoshOhJeez/pseuds/OhGoshOhJeez
Summary: trans paul rights
Relationships: Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins
Series: paulkins [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1506092
Comments: 14
Kudos: 114





	A weight off his shoulders

Emma and Paul were dating.

It was fine, all things considered, after things settled down and Paul had recovered from the trauma of seeing all his friends die and then be...Un-dead, she’d contacted him again. After everything that happened, it was nice for things to return to some level of normality. 

However, there was one small thing that was worrying Paul, something he hadn’t got around to telling her.

He looked at himself in the mirror. He was shirtless, something Emma hadn’t seen from him yet. He frowned, and rubbed his chin with his hand, feeling the light stubble there. He made a mental note to shave and his hand dropped down to his chest.

He felt the raised skin under his pecs. The scars were thin, he already was fairly flat-chested before the surgery, so it wasn’t a very difficult procedure. Healing  _ was  _ difficult, he didn’t have anyone living with him to help get things off of high shelves or change his bandages, or help put on his binder over the top. It was a painful and hard recovery, but he figured it was worth it.

It was bound to come out (ha) sooner or later. He knew Emma would be okay with it, he knew she’d be supportive, but actually working up the nerve to tell her...

He sighed and nodded at his own reflection, gripping the edges of the sink.

“Okay. It’s okay. You’re gonna tell her tonight.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


He’d stalled. Of course he’d stalled.

They’d had dinner, (Leftover takeout from his fridge), and were watching a movie when Emma put her hand on his thigh.

He turned his head to look at her, and she was smiling, splaying her fingers out further, sliding upwards.

Paul panicked and flinched away with a small yelp.

“Uh!- Shouldn’t we um- finish the movie?” He said, smiling nervously.

“Are you really interested in a movie about-” She turned towards the TV, “A talking elephant in Africa? I chose it ‘cause I knew we’d end up doing...Something else.”

Paul raised his eyebrows, his face turning red, then chuckled, then shook his head and snapped out of it.

“Um, Emma, I- Don’t get me wrong, I really want to and you’re just-” He gestured with his hands, “Gorgeous but I...I don’t know if you’ll like....All of me.”

She smiled, and pressed her face against his chest, hands sliding up his back.

“Of course I will.”

“...Really?”

“Yes.” She laughed. “If you’re not ready, that’s okay too, I’m okay with taking things slow.”

He shut his eyes, sighing.

“I really, really want to, Emma, you- god- you don’t know what you do to me sometimes.”

She raised her head, and straddled his lap to look him in the eye. He gingerly put his hands on her thighs, caressing, his eyes unfocused.

“Is this okay?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He said.

“Wanna just make out instead?”

“Yes.” 

He closed the gap between them, pressing his lips against hers and brought his hand up to the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and he accepted it with a low hum. In return, he moved one hand from her thigh, and slid it up her shirt, fingertips grazing her rib-cage.

She rolled her hips gently and he sighed...

Then jumped, as she slipped her hand up his shirt.

He quickly grabbed her wrist and moved it, breaking the kiss. He panted.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“I- Um-” His voice shook, “I can’t.”

She looked concerned, and he felt guilty.

“Okay. That’s fine, I shouldn’t have-” She started to pull back, ready to leave his lap, but he held her hand.

“No.” He said, his eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t get up, it’s okay, I need to...I need to tell you something.”

“Alright.” She looked nervous. “What is it, Paul?”

He took a breath, and shut his eyes.

“I’m...Transgender.”

There was a pause, and Emma removed her hand from his shoulder.

“Oh.”

“...Yeah...”

“So...You’re a girl?”

Paul felt his stomach drop.

“What..?”

“Do you wanna be called she/her from now on? Cause I’m okay with that, and I’ll- I’ll support you, whatever you want to do-”

Paul breathed a sigh of relief that came out as a wheeze, then chuckled.

“No- Emma it’s- it’s the other way around.”

Emma blinked.

“ _ Oh _ . Oh! Oh my god, Paul, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

Paul was laughing, his head tipped back onto the couch.

“Hey, I’m glad I pass that well.” He smiled and his face felt twitchy.

They both chuckled, and Emma dipped her head, embarrassed. She spoke after the moment passed,

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

He gulped, and looked down, gripping her hand and holding it tight.

“I was nervous. It’s not as if I’ve had experience with this type of thing, most of my girlfriends I- I had before I realised so...”

Emma moved their interlocked hands to Paul’s chest, close to his heart.

“I love you.” He blurted out, she laughed.

“I love you, too.”

He smiled, and willed himself not to tear up. 

“Do you still want to...” He trailed off.

“Have sex?”

His face got even redder and he nodded.

“Of course I do, you’re a total hottie.” She shifted on his lap and his laugh turned into a sigh. “Can I...” She gripped the bottom of his shirt and tugged.

“Yeah.” 

She smiled, and his heart fluttered. She slowly unbuttoned his shirt, occasionally glancing up at him to make sure he wasn’t having second thoughts. 

When it was undone, she slid it open, he sat up straighter and removed the rest himself, dropping it to the floor.

“Wow...” She said, adoration in her voice. She slid her hand up his toned stomach, and he shivered. She felt his chest with the tips of her fingers, running them along the length of his scars. They were faded, but still visible.

“Do you...Like them?” Paul joked.

“Yeah.” She said, breathlessly, and Paul’s mouth went dry.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes. You’re so  _ handsome _ , Paul. I hope you know that.”

Paul was speechless as Emma kissed his collarbone, then pressed her lips against his neck, pulling away to whisper in his ear.

“And you’re really fucking hot.”   
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
